In Conversation with Emer Maguire
- Jul 30
- 6 min read
Autism, Comedy, and Finding Yourself
"There have been times in the past where I’ve really struggled, but you just have to hang in and not give up hope and just know that things will get better. "
Comedian and broadcaster Emer Maguire is known for her sharp storytelling, musical comedy genius, and gloriously chaotic honesty. In our conversation, Emer shared her journey with autism, from growing up feeling like an "alien" to navigating daily tasks, sensory processing, and the life-changing support of her assistance dog Dougal.
How did you realise you might be autistic? Was there a specific moment when everything clicked, or was it more gradual?
I always knew I was different from a very young age. For a long time, I assumed it was because I was gay and wasn't into typical "girl" things. But as I got older, people started bringing it up. Audience members would even come up to me after comedy gigs saying, "My daughter is autistic, as well," and I’d be like “As well as who?” My friend, who is a speech and language therapist specialising in autism, eventually suggested getting an assessment. Looking back, I had a very "spiky profile" - struggling socially and developmentally, while excelling academically.
Looking back, are there moments that now make more sense through the lens of autism?
My whole childhood makes sense now. I felt like I was on a completely different wavelength or like an alien who didn't fit into the world. I always connected better with adults than with other children. Understanding my autism and OCD has helped me make peace with who I was and feel much less ashamed, but I still feel a bit sad for how lonely I was as a child. It’s mixed feelings.
Is there anything you wish you could go back and tell pre-diagnosis Emer?
I’d tell myself to hang in there, take it day by day, and that everything gets better. As a kid, I couldn't imagine making it past 25 because I thought I’d be an outsider forever. But by my mid-20s, I began finding my place and making friends and growing into myself. So yeah, just be patient, take every day at a time.
People will know you as a comedian and broadcaster, being confident and comfortable and funny in front of a crowd. How does that contrast with how you feel internally?
Offstage, I'm extremely quiet, reserved, and shy - my natural inclination is to stay at home in bed with my dogs. On stage, I perform a bit of a caricature of myself. Performing to a crowd with a rehearsed script is very different from standard social interaction. Inside I feel like I’m always going to feel like the shy 16-year-old. People see a brief moment of confidence on stage, but they don't see the extensive downtime and quiet recovery I need afterwards.
What are some everyday things people might be surprised to learn you find difficult?
Sensory issues and executive functioning are big challenges for me. I have intense sensitivities to textures like carpets or toothbrushes, and I eat a very restricted diet.
People might be surprised by how quiet I am and how much recovery time I need from a social event - people always think because I’m a comedian I must be great fun socially, but I’m actually very solitary and spend a lot of time in my own world with my dogs.
Everyday errands like going to a shop or an appointment on my own can be really overwhelming due to the unpredictability of the interactions. People see me on stage in front of hundreds of people but that’s different, that’s a monologue, I couldn’t go into a shop and ask for something. I’m so scared they would ask me something I’m not expecting and I’ll just get stuck and stop talking and not know what to do.
Another thing for me is my executive function and my memory are really off. My organisation skills are horrific. Remembering routine tasks like taking medication is tough, even with reminders from alarms, my mum, and my girlfriend. This is a big one because life can be very difficult if I don’t take my OCD medication.
Has getting an autism diagnosis changed how you treat yourself?
Absolutely. I used to be very hard on myself because my academic capabilities didn't match my struggles with domestic or social tasks. Now, I am a bit easier on myself. I’ve learnt to just be like “this is part of me being autistic”. And you know what? If I wasn’t autistic, I wouldn’t have come out of the womb writing songs and playing music. Sure, I might have been able to cook a meal, but I wouldn’t be such a good writer and all those things. We all have our strengths. So, I definitely give myself an easier time.
It’s really improved my relationship with my family as well. My mum almost didn’t believe it at first, because I’m so bright. I think schools as well tend to assume everything is fine with a child unless there are major issues academically or with behaviour - who’s going to say “that angel in the corner, she needs an assessment”? But now my family are great about it. They totally get it and support me, and that’s helped a lot.
Is there a particular adjustment or support strategy you can’t imagine living without now?
My autism assistance dog, Dougal! He has completely changed my life and increased my independence. When I’m out and about, having Dougal with me gives me a point of focus so I don't overthink as much. It means outings like visiting coffee shops feel safe. Now, when strangers interact with me, it’s always about Dougal, and they always ask the exact same questions - I have a sort of script and it makes talking to people easier. So he’s helped me feel confident talking to strangers for the first time in my life.
How does autism shape your approach to comedy?
I’ve always been extremely observant. I think especially as an autistic woman I absorb a huge amount of sensory and linguistic information from the world around me. I notice details and see the world from a very unique angle which allows me to play around with words and stuff. Constantly as I’m out and about I’ll see something, write it up in my notes, then go home and write a joke about it.
What brings you joy? Do you have any special interests?
I have a lot of special interests. Definitely dogs, spending time with my dogs Dougal and Alby. Of course music and writing, I started writing songs when I was maybe five. I’m obsessed with technology as well. I love anything hands-on and physical, like DIY, I love sports, and vehicles. It’s great because me and one of my brothers have a lot of crossover with our interests. Although a lot of my interests are quite solitary, it's been nice as I’ve gotten older to share them more. Horror movies and true crime are the other big ones. I've already listened to four true crime podcasts today, and I listen to them every single night to get to sleep. I think it gives my hyperactive brain a safe, controlled way to process scary things without any real danger.
Last question. What is one thing you hope people will take away from your story?
If you’re in a difficult place, a dark place, you’re struggling, and you think the world isn’t made for you or meant for you… It might just take you a bit of time to catch up and to find your people and your interests. There have been times in the past where I’ve really struggled, but you just have to hang in and not give up hope and just know that things will get better. That’s not saying being autistic is a bad thing or anything, but this world isn’t built for us, and it’s very hard surviving in that world. Just give yourself time and be patient with yourself and know that if you take longer to get to a certain place in life than other people that’s totally fine because there might be things in life you’re much stronger at than them. We’re all different. So just be kind to yourself.
Thank you so much to Emer for sharing your story with us. Emer is on tour across the UK & Ireland - tickets can be found here. You can follow Emer on Instagram. Especially check out Emer's Autism Club song if you're in need of a life-affirming singalong right now 💚
Lauren x
